RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.We became good friends first and we only started dating 2 years later.
Texting is fine, I’m not against it, but when it comes to dating and meeting in the beginning, don’t text everything to arrange dating. Also, for safety sake, many women prefer making the first call. Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating Dating has gone digital. If it’s honesty and directness you are seeking, know that many older woman come out way ahead in this area. Pay for her on the first date, even if she offers to pay her share. Don’t say you want to see her again if you are full of sh*t. And don’t do it because you are looking for a mommy. Don’t keep pestering her because it will come to an unhappy conclusion or blocking you from her site. Many of us are confident, used to being alone and on our own, so don’t feel that we want to be with you every minute of the day, because we don’t. Many of us had much experience with BS and we know when it’s coming at us.
Again, it’s a turnon to a woman to have the man go out of his way to meet a woman. Same goes if you are going to meet at a certain time, and you are going to be late, text her and let her know. Neither one of you knows ahead of time where this will go. The most important is in getting to know one another, having fun, being honest and upfront. But once you go that route if you feel uncomfortable don’t do it. Give us at least some sample of what you look like. Please don’t make your profile sooooo long that it will totally bore us and even though you may look good, you will be passed by because of overwhelm. Most cases if a woman doesn’t respond to your first response, it means she’s not interested. Be aware that if we see something ain’t workin for us, but working for you and we can’t work it out, that’s probably the end of the relationship. If she’s desperate and is afraid of being alone, stay away, far, far away. She has had a lot of experience in having fun with children.
In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.
I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.
It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.
I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.