When they observe you actually believing what they’re saying, an unease sets in due to expectations created by their disconnected selves.If they privately have beliefs that undermine what they’re saying and doing, they will start to act in line with those beliefs, even if the words aren’t reflecting this new output.
Unfortunately they get carried away and then have to backtrack to what they truly intended to be or do.
Unfortunately the person who says one thing, does another and thinks another won’t be upfront.
Remember, if we didn’t act in line with our beliefs, we’d have to change them because it would mean that they’re no longer true for us.
It’s also important to recognise that there are a lot of people pleaser’s amongst us who will tell you what you want to hear or what they Romance and the fantasy of possibilities feels good.
You might have something to prove, that you’re “different” or you’ve “changed”.
On the other hand you might know exactly where you screwed up or dropped the ball.
If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware.
If you are at an office or shared network, you can ask the network administrator to run a scan across the network looking for misconfigured or infected devices.
It then feels strange to be putting different selves out there and forces us to act with more due consideration instead of just saying and doing stuff ‘in the moment’.
You won’t know where you stand with someone who is disconnected from their actions, thoughts and words, and you’ll know that there’s a disconnection issue because you experience a lot of disappointment with them. The funny thing is that a person like this actually expects you to buy what they’re selling in that moment and will get irritated that you’re hesitant or even calling them out on their contrary behaviour or past let downs.
After all you’re not a 6 year old anymore, you know that crying and moaning won’t get you what you want, to get results, you just have to do it. So naturally your instinct tells you to show your ex you ‘want’ them back. It’s hard to admit but your ex has essentially rejected you.